As with most things in Korea, anything that you want done usually takes a few tries until it's done properly and always takes time. I recently had to undergo the venture of getting poles made for the volleyball net that I had so that the small by loyal league of players at Haeundae Beach could continue to play. The venture began simply enough with a visit to a pipe fitter and what seemed like a simple request became as complicated as understanding quantum mechanics. We were after all, both speaking different languages. I was speaking the language of sense and sensibility
"I need two metal poles cut that I can place on top of each other, with a hook welded to the top two poles". He was speaking the language of nonsense and chaos. Pulling out everything from PVC plastic to steel piping - "cut how?" "Joined how?" "A hook??????" He brought in a translator who spoke no English other than to say "I translate." I ended up leaving him for 2 days to sort out the logistics and ended up with "the leaning poles of Pusan". Four very heavy steel poles cut to 140cm each, held together by a sink joint that screwed the pipes together.... worked in theory I suppose just like communism and we know what happened there.
The hooks to hold the net had been the major problem. "big hooks, medium hooks, no drill, welding???" I ended up with two large hooks welded on to the top poles and that is how the leaning poles of Pusan were born. After the first day of use it was evident that they just weren't functional and it was time to see the pipe fitter again. This time I brought reinforcements. Two other foreigners to experience the joys of Korean customizing. "It doesn't work" I told him as I held up the sink joints. From that point what proceeded could only be topped by McGiver, after all, a man who can build a welding gun out of a piece of wire and a shoelace is worthy of honourable mention.
The pipefitter came back a few minutes later with a new joint that the two halves could easily slide into. Very good I thought - this will work. "Ok?" He asked. "Yes!" was the emphatic response and then he walked away. "Wait a minute!" The joint was the same size as the pipes so it slid all the way down from the top to the bottom. It would have to be secured at one end, either welded or screwed in. He examined it closely and considered the predicament. "TApe!" He said proudly. "What!" Who was this guy, Red Green? "Tape, No!" After another 30 minutes of negotiating and the assistance of 5 other Korean males who worked in the shop, it was agreed that the joint would have to be attached. "Drill - NO!" he said, "Welding - NO!" I finally figured out why he was so hesitant to weld or drill as I saw that he was missing some of his fingers. As the 5 men stood staring at the poles as though they were the 'golden calf' with all the answers, my buddy Matt figured it was as good a time as any to pose the question "How many Koreans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" At this juncture we really couldn't come up with a number but figured it would have to involve at least 1 scholar, a bureaucrat, a scientist, a tradesman, a conscriptee to stand guard and of course a translator amongst others.
One of the younger men who had been standing amongst the crowd had an epithany. "Drill!"... this must have been the scholar. Next the scientist examined the joint and after removing it and placing it back on the pole, determined the point at which the screws should be placed. The bureaucrat stood by and listened to the scientist and the scholar and nodded in agreement. The tradesman went and got his drill and the conscriptee stood by. When it was all over about 3 minutes later and the new joints were attached, poles ready to go, the translator popped his head out of the office. "I translate for you" he said. "OK" I said "tell them thank you for all the hard work". He looked at me quizzically and said nothing. After an hour and a half my friends and I bowed politely, waved goodbye and headed to the beach to put the new poles to work. Now as I sit and gaze fondly at my Korean handcrafter volleyball poles, I marvel that they are functional and think back with fondness of the fingerless tradesman wondering what else I could possibly get made here. I wonder how long it would take to get some new curtains made.
